How to Endure the Stress Caused By Toxic People
We've all had the experience at one time or another, at work, with
a roommate or even with someone close to us who has a very
toxic nature and qualities such as consistently making negative comments about others or complaining all the time.
Whether that be in your professional or personal interactions.
Obviously, the best solution for dealing with toxic people is to
avoid engaging in toxic relationships. But certainly, at times, it
isn't that simple.
Perhaps in the case of personal relationships, toxic friends, and
even toxic co-workers, you can take specific steps to mitigate the
effects of these toxic people.
Such as reducing the time you spend with these people or if [the
issue is problematic enough] severe enough, you may consider
changing your employment or even terminating those toxic
relationships.
But sometimes, that is easier said than done. Because maybe it
isn't practical to altogether remove yourself from the situation. Or
perhaps you're not fully prepared to make that change.
Toxic workplace environment:
I know because I’ve worked with and coached many professionals in very large organisation in Europe. Unfortunately some of them had toxic managers.
A perfect example of this is what Steve Jobs called “The Bozo Explosion” or “The B players Epidemic”.
Is your boss toxic?
But of course, these toxic bosses typically are not interested in
losing their "A player". Naturally, they will not easily want to part
with you. Nor help you to [move/change] departments within the
company.
Toxic peoples negativity impacts creativity, synergy and productivity. That's
super bad, especially in today's ultra-competitive workplace and
can really hit your bottom line.
In most cases the best strategy for manager, who identify these types of people in their teams is to remove them or dismiss them, regardless of how effective they are at their jobs. Of course, it might require patience, planning and time but everyone is replaceable.
As the saying goes, "One rotten apple can rot the barrel."
Just as laughing and happiness can be infectious, toxic people can
be contagious with their toxic mindvirus. They can infect your
mind with a mindvirus that can infect those around you, including
loved ones or create a toxic work environment.
That's why as a manager/ leader, it's so important in the
workplace for you to identify toxic people and isolate them from
infecting others or, better yet, eliminate them from your team or
department altogether.
Toxic people are kind of like the plague on legs. Everywhere,
everyone and everything a toxic person comes close to, they
toxify. They create toxic work environments and living
atmospheres and generally have a significant negative impact on
the world.
Imagine the difficulties people face who work on oil platforms, prisons, military
personnel or others who are locked into a situation or
environment where they have limited options. Unfortunately for them, they must
interact with these toxic people nor can they easily extract themselves.
In their contorted minds, they convince you they're good, and
you're bad. This is one of the consequences you could experience
as a result of hanging out with toxic people.
Are Toxic people contagious?
The result can be infecting you so-much-so that you in turn
become infectious. Yes, it is [catchy and infectious], and it
spreads just like a virus that's why I call it one of 7 mind
viruses!
The others are envy, greed, jealousy, anger, resentment and critical of others [judgemental].
Just like an actual virus, spreading their [mindvirus] to others
around them.
You probably already are starting to realise toxic people will
sooner or later start to have a negative impact on your peace of
mind and mental and physical well-being.
Fortunately, here you'll find the skills you can learn to apply when
being obligated to interact with toxic people and situations.
Here's a problem you face:
In life you will run into toxic people in many places, such as a toxic boss, living with a toxic person, a toxic roommate, a toxic family member, a toxic relationship or even a toxic partner. Toxic behaviour stems from a toxic mind and manifests itself in toxic emotions. That's why I call toxicity a type of mindvirus.
How can you better cope with toxic people?
What steps can you take to help you mitigate, if not eliminate,
the harmful effects of toxic people around you or in your life?
You'll discover the more you try to resist toxic people's harmful
effects, the more you may find yourself sucked into their [toxic
mind games] if you don't have the proper tools and skills to deal
with these toxic people.
You now realise toxic people affect not only your mind but those
around you. Because it will eventually affects your attitude and
ultimately your health.
What is a toxic person?
'When defining a toxic person, you could say they lack respect for others and leave you feeling [used/depleted] and in some way injured.'
Here's why Toxic people are worse than you realise:
Toxic individuals come in many shapes, sizes and disguises. You’ve got the pessimist, the emotional vampire, energy vampire, the cynic, the leech, the addict, the deflector, the projector, the manipulator, the [thoughtful] narcissist, the sociopath [criminal and politicians], or any combination of all these.
As you may have experienced in the past, people with some combination of characteristics listed above can easily infect you with a toxic mindvirus that can make your life [a living hell/ completely miserable]
- Sociopath [no conscious and ego centre]
- Narcissist
- Co-Dependent
- Borderline disorders
A common characteristic of toxic individuals is that they can be
hyper-observant, thus giving them the edge and making them very
apt and effective at manipulating you and others.
I once was nearly forced to live with a highly toxic individual. This
individual we'll call "Claud" and Claud was a piece of work. He was
always trying to either put-me-down or get-one-up. It was a stupid
game he seemed to enjoy.
Apparently, Claud had no real reason to dislike me except that it
gave him pleasure to watch others have difficulties.
Claud would show delight whenever he perceived that something
bad might happen to me or things might not work out for me.
It became quite obvious, when things did work out for me. You
could see the disappointment and frustration in his face. You
could easily read his subtle facial expressions. However,
sometimes his facial expressions were not that subtle.
Further, Claud never hesitated to ask for help. Claud always had
one open hand and the other with a hidden knife. But just as
quickly, if given a 1/2 a chance, he'd gladly put a knife in your
back. [Of course, he did not literally have a knife it's a metaphor]
The bright side was that it resulted in an extraordinary
opportunity for me to experience right up close what it can be
like to co-habitat with 'a highly toxic person.
A psychiatrist I met who knew Claud well told me privately that
Claud suffered from a borderline narcissist personality disorder.
To the narcissist and many toxic people, the concept of helping
another human being without expectation or hoping to receive
something in return is an entirely foreign concept for them.
They might even think to themselves, "Why in the world would
someone do such a thing? Only a very stupid person would help
another without getting something in exchange".
As you can easily see from the picture I just painted, it's easy to
grasp that toxic types often live in very different realities
compared to healthy individuals' psychology.
As you just read, the best way to deal with toxic people is to stay
away from them or limit your "exposure" or "interactions" with
toxic people.
How to Identify a Toxic Person or Co-worker:
How to Identify a Toxic Person or Co-worker:
Toxic people usually have one or more of the following characteristics: Narcissistic, egomaniacs, emotionally unstable, vengeful, violent mood swings, dishonest manipulative, leeches, gossipers, victims, deflectors, projectors, addicts, have delusions of grandeur and can have sociopaths and psychopaths tendencies.
If that's now enough, how about emotional and energy vampires!
Wow, with all those awesome possible combinations of qualities,
who wouldn't want to hang out with such endearing people. 
Is Gossiping a toxic behaviour?
In addition, gossiping is toxic behaviour that most of us are guilty
of at one time or another. Certainly, not everyone who gossips
now and then is a toxic person.
The human tribal mentality is mainly responsible for our natural
tendency to gossip. Because when we gossip and speak behind
someone's back, it makes us feel part of a group, "us" against
"them".
But gossiping is a toxic behaviour we should all strive to avoid
altogether, don't you agree?
Gossiping not only negatively impacts the person you are talking
about but also impacts the listener. It negatively influences the
listener's attitude toward the gossiper.
Why is gossiping harmful?
Because the listener will unconsciously associate the "negative
feelings" of whatever has been said by the gossiper with the
person gossiping.
According to scientists the listener of gossip will indirectly [but not
consciously] associate you with the [gossip] negative emotions it sparks. Gossiping hurts everyone involved: the speaker, the listener and the person being gossiped about!
Realising that negative comments create negative feelings in the listener, and the listener will unconsciously associate those negative
feelings with the speaker [gossiper].
Of course, you've heard of a win-win situation! But here you've got a triple loss situation, lose-lose-lose, now that's an interesting,
weird twist! But what can you do when staying away or limiting your
interaction is not a viable option?
We've all had the experience at one time or another, at work, with
a roommate or even with someone close to us who has a very
toxic nature and qualities.
Whether that be in your professional or personal interactions.
Obviously, the best solution for dealing with toxic people is to
avoid engaging in toxic relationships. But certainly, at times it isn't
that simple.
What about when it's a toxic work environment or a toxic family member?
But what can you do to eliminate their toxic behaviour?
Perhaps in the case of personal relationships, toxic friends, and
even toxic co-workers, you can take specific steps to mitigate the
effects of these toxic people.
Such as distancing yourself and reducing the time you spend with
these people. Or if the issue is problematic enough [severe
enough], you may consider changing employer and severing that
toxic relationship.
But sometimes, that is easier said than done. Because maybe it
isn't practical to altogether remove yourself from the situation. Or
perhaps you're not fully prepared to make that change.
I know because I’ve worked with and coached many professionals in very large organisation in Europe. Many of who had to confront toxic managers. This is a perfect example of what Steve Jobs called The epidemic of B players or the Bozo explosion.
The types of things a toxic manager might do things like take all the credit for your ideas and late-night hard work.
So what do you do when you're forced to deal with toxic people at work?
As the saying goes, "One rotten apple can rot the barrel."
That's why as a manager/ leader, it's so crucial in the workplace
for you to identify toxic people and isolate them from infecting
others or, better yet, eliminate them from your team or
department altogether.
Toxic people are kind of like the plague on legs. Everywhere,
everyone and everything a toxic person comes close to, they
toxify. They create toxic work environments and living
atmospheres and generally have a significant negative impact on
the world.
Negatively impacting creativity synergy and productivity. That's
super bad, in especially today's ultra-competitive workplace.
The result can be infecting you so-much-so that you, in turn
become infectious. Yes, it is [catchy and infectious], and it
spreads just like a virus that's why I call it one of the 7 mind
viruses!
Just like an actual virus, spreading their [mindvirus] to others.
You need the tools and skills to deal with toxic people in toxic
situations.
Fortunately, here you'll find the skills you can learn to apply when
being obligated to interact with toxic people and situations.
You probably already know that sooner or later, toxic people's
toxicity will start to have a negative impact on your peace of mind
and mental and physical well-being.
You need the tools and skills to deal with toxic people in toxic
situations. Find out more here:
You'll discover
- What can you do if you are obligated to interact with a toxic person?
- What about when it's a toxic work environment or a toxic family member?
- But what can you do to reduce the effects of their toxic behaviour?
- FRENEMY a person with whom one is friendly despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry.
Unfortunately, toxic people are a reality we must deal with in our lives.
Learn here strategies that allow you to stay above their toxicity.
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