How my being a communication coach benefits you

As a communication coach and speaker – I like to think I have a very well developed understanding of how to read people and communicate more effectively. But it was not always this way.

In fact, as a child and teenager I was quite insecure and a bit of an outsider. I saw other people succeed and handle challenges with such ease – I couldn’t understand why it came so easily to them.

This kick-started a personal journey that started at the age of 19 – call it self-improvement and development

I absorbed the trainings, techniques and strategies of master communicators like Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Tim Sandler, Les Brown, Wayne Dyer, Richard Bandler and a bunch of others etc. And then I applied them to my own life.
Many didn’t work. Some were overly complicated.
But as I started to understand what worked for me, and refined some of the principles, I started to see the results.

I went from being bullied in school to an awkward insecure teenager afraid of his own shadow to someone who can persuade and influence powerful C-level executives and industry leaders for some of the largest corporations in Europe.

Being a communicator I can keep my client’s interest, build trust and develop rapport. I feel privileged to have the career and personal strength I do today – it really was a life-changer.

Once you unlock these skills you tend to wonder how you ever managed without them.

Could you guess the most important word in communication – think you’ve got it? Here’s a hint:

The sound of this word can either make you feel great or stricken you with fear depending on how the word is said.

The most important word in communication is:

[THE NAME]

Well – not specifically your name. Rather, the name of the person you’re talking to.

As Dale Carnegie said, “A person’s name is the sweetest sound to them” 

And it is something I always try to remember. Granted, using the name of someone you are already close to 

– that is important but not a game changer –

But using the name of someone you just met: It implies that you value them enough to remember their name. It will in turn open them up to connection and persuasion.

Being able to connect a face to a name will also help you to open up and remember individuals.
In workshops, where I often meet dozens of people in a short period of time, I always try to remember as many names as possible.

I don’t fight fire with fire.
Instead I listen, observe, empathize and communicate openly.

 

What I want to talk about today is not so much a tip – rather it is a cornerstone of successful communication. 

If you want to deeply influence someone, you need to care about them. 

If all your communication tricks are just that – a way to manipulate, you will get results. But-

The greatest success comes when you have empathy for others and want to make the world a better place. Many times I have faced people with very challenging personalities and attitudes. 

A prime example was recently being asked to help a very talented individual in a big company. His talent was only matched by his anger. And being told to meet with me by HR – you can only imagine he was not in a good mood. He thought it was a waste of his time and he lashed out at me, before we had even formally begun the workshop.

Some of the others in the room where taken a back.
But I kept cool and tried to put myself in his shoes.

I matched his voice pattern and speech and began to slow my speech, tilt my head and use some hypnotic techniques (just so you’re aware, I don’t generally teach these as they can be misused).

He began to calm down and by the end he had taken a shine to me. The wild cat had been turned into a kitten. I’ve heard he’s doing a lot better.

And I believe it’s only possible because I truly cared about his anger and wanted him to feel better.
Now go and put some positive energy and empathy back into the world!

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