Emotional intelligence, we can break down into like five areas.
The first is learning to identify your emotions, what it is you’re experiencing, what you’re feeling.
It’s amazing but I have observed a significant percentage of people that are not even aware of their own feelings little less how to manage their emotions.
Once you’ve identified your emotions, the next step in emotional intelligence is to learn to manage your emotions.
By learning to manage your own emotions, you’ll be able to deal with other people and influence their emotions and perceptions much more effectively!
So regardless, if it’s a sales situation, it could be a job interview, a negotiation or whatever situation, if you can learn to manage your emotions, it will make you that much more effective in dealing with other people. So it’s crucial to learn to manage your emotions.
We have courses that teach you just that, how to identify your emotions and then how to manage your emotions as they surface. Problem is emotions taint your perceptions of events which can negatively impact your outcomes.
Mindfulness, meditation practices plus neuro-scientifically proven breathing exercises will help you to measurably improve your self- awareness, your thoughts and emotions.
The third component which is few people teach and is very important in emotional intelligence is perspective.
Perspectives are crucial to understand and fundamental it’s how you color your world around you and how you see your world.
It’s kind of like wearing colored glasses. If you wear red well everything will have a shade of red to it. If you wear blue well similar everything will have a blue tinge to it.
Your perceptions are created by your emotions in that moment plus your basic belief structures about life also will impact your perception.
For example, if you belief that all Martians are liars then every time you encounter a Martian, it will influence the way you communicate with a Martian.
And guess what? Your perception will be tainted by your belief structure. It will influence you even more if you are angry because you were just rip-off by a Martian, that will be a double whammy on your perception with the next encounter with a Martian particularly if it was very recent.
The fourth component of emotional intelligence is empathy. According Harvard law professor Robert Mnookin. He defines empathy as “the process of demonstrating nonjudgmental understanding of other people’s needs, their problems and their perspectives.”
So Empathy is very important to take into account.
If you don’t have the empathy and you can’t understand where the other person’s coming from or what their desires, problems and their issues are, it’s not going to be very successful to influence them.
The fifth component of emotional intelligence is social skills, but in order to have excellent social skills you need to have the previous skills we discussed.
You’re going to learn linguistic secrets, how to use speech to influence people, to deal with negative responses, to overcome objections and things of this sort. Good social skills are very important to build rapport and be more charismatic.
But if you don’t master your emotional intelligence skills, empathy and your social skills will suffer (suck).
And if you’re feeling angry on top of it, because you haven’t managed your emotions, you’re not going to be very likable, persuasive nor charismatic.
Another important caveat you should be alerted to is that you don’t treat other people the way you want to be treated.
You want to treat people them the way they want to be treated. This is a really important distinction for us to keep in mind.
Again, we want to treat other people the way they want to be treated, not the way we want to be treated. Its the Golden Rule with a twist.
But believe me, it’s effective in business for sales success, negotiation and in your professional and personal relationships.